Sry I called you an 8
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
