I think im going to throw up on grandma
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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