sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize