im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
