Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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