we have officially mastered the walk of shame
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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