We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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