i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
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