man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
