Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
soo... how was my night?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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