I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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