The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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