oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
