id be glad to
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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