i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
