He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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