I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
