You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
