we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I am in a vortex of obligation.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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