he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
