is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
where are you?
Hypothermia
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
