You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize