have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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