so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
