David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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