She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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