Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
