Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
