I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I smell like Dick and happiness
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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