She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
