Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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