He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The air was thick with penises
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
