so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
