This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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