we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
