nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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