your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just want nice things and good sex
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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