Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
