you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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