Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
