the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize