I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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