Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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