and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize