I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Randomize
