The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
