I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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