We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
