So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
