Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
