Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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