At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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