Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
