Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
