I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
