i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
