Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
