brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
there's paper in my vomit.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
