whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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